Header and Footer: Uefa-lona Mega Troll Thread

By Shivashankar

After targeting ManUre in my previous post, I would like to focus on the club that cheats the most, the club which dives the most, the club which uses refs to win matches and the club recognized worldwide as’ Uefalona/Barcheatlona ‘.

Football is supposed to be played with 11 players aside. There are also some variations on the number of players in the more modern forms, such as futsal and beach football (Both organized by FIFA). Apart from these, when any team plays against Barcelona, they 11 vs 11 scenario is not used. Instead its always 11 against Barcelona’s 15 (11+refs!)

Training facility – La Masia

The much famed academy of Barcelona, primarily trains young players. More than dribbling, shooting, tackling, attacking or defending the main characteristic that defines La Masia football is none other than this – DIVE!!

More than a club

Now that we have had a look at La Masia, let us understand what Barcelona is all about.

Prior to 2004, nobody knew Barcelona. 8 years hence, now, the numbers have surged rapidly. The secret?

They won the Champions league thrice. In 2006 (Scandal agains Chelsea), 2009 (Scandal against Chelsea and AC Milan) and 2011 (Scandal at the Bernabeu)

They are more than just a club!

Philosophy – the barca way!

What is the club’s philosophy? What do they believe in?

Tikki Takka or Takka TIkki or Crap Crapi?

Barca - Formation

Barcelona play with an attacking formation, the defence links up well with the attack, wing play and they also have wide, very wide players. Have a look!

Barca – Tridente

Real Madrid, the world best club have one of the most fearful tridente. They combined to score more than 100 goals last season.

Barcelona, meanwhile, have a tridente of their own. A tridente that every team fears. They do not score goals though, they are multifunctional – penalties, dives, offsides, sending offs!

Hand ball – Uefalona

Spot the ball. The referee is very near, yet he fails to find the infringement. What do you call this?

Sevilla had to bear the brunt this time around.

Uefalona – Absolutely.

The Catalonian Cheats – Pique

None can match this cheat when it comes to playing handball, er, is that football?

He has done it plenty of times, yet

The Catalonian Cheats – Fabremoron

This is the heights of cheating skills one gets trained when at Barcelona. After completing his move from Arsenal, Cesc is now truly a Cule!

The Catalonian Cheats – Messi

You didn’t suspect him to be in this list?

One of the foremost culprits of foul play by Uefalona is attributed to the ridiculous cheating of this man – Lionel Messhi*

Apart from rigging its system to prefer this moron for its annul player of the year awards, he seems to have an understanding with UEFA/FIFA.

Reaction comparison with CR

Many have accused CR to be arrogant, while Lionel Messhi* to be calm and pleasing.

But what is the reality?

The Catalonian Cheats – Team Award

Well, well, well. Football is a team game. So we cannot pick out an individual

Sergio Biscuits – The Mentor and the Protégé of all La Masia graduates

Quick question: How many red cards has biscuits got in career?

Answer: 2

How many red cards have been flashed on opponent’s coz of biscuits acting?

Answer: Infinity and Beyond.

Meanwhile, Sergio Busquets has signed a contract extension with Barcelona! Cheers Uefa! But where did he sign the extension?!

Does this ever happen?!

It really did happen! In the concluded champions league game against Benfica! Pinch yourself once again. Its true!

How to play

Whats the playing style of biscuits? In which part of the field does he play?

Even in the game!

Facepalm :P

Even EA sports has developed his character in the newly released version!

Biscuits – The Conclusion

What do we conclude of Biscuits?

Meanwhile, utd lost to spurs – Old Trafford

Meanwhile, at Old Trafford, Ferggie’s manure lost a home game against Spurs!

Ferggie’s reaction

What went wrong for Ferggie?!

Titto’s the boss when it comes to UEFA!

Barcheatlona are a superpower in Europe. They have rigged and won so many UCL’s. Ferggie is just a novice in comparison: P

Official UEFA Store

UEFA have a dedicated online store, which caters to different team. But obviously, their official partners remain as Barcelona, after gifting them a few CL trophies. Manure has plenty of catching up to do!

Haha – not in this life!

Mark my words, this won’t happen in your lifetime or mine!

Cheats…Eternal Cheats!

Pepe - like a boss!

The Catalonian crowd is filled with people, who call themselves as fools…er, its cules.

This man, Kepler Lima “Pepe”, single has handedly destroyed barca and messi. So what tactics do the cules employ to express his angst against pepe? Whistle. Crap. He’ll still hits the crap out of barca!